Patience is not my greatest virtue, it is tried to the inth degree when I'm driving. I have decided that I have more than one last nerve and there are some people and things that absolutely are determined to try my patience...they just don't always realize it.

One of the things I'm learning is that life usually doesn't make a lot of sense. Life is like driving, you are buzzing down the road, minding your own business, trying to reach your destination and wham! You hit a pot hole, someone pulls out in front of you, nearly backs into you, steals your parking slot, and the list goes on. It's how we deal with these little frustrations that makes the difference.

In the past few weeks we have faced a few things, my daughter had a flat on a very busy road, when I went out to get her my car wouldn't start, the mechanic thought it was my starter. Today she called at 9:30 am, that's 30 minutes before church starts...she's broke down, could be the transmission in our van...can anything else happen is floating through my mind...and then the voice of reason comes...through my wife of course...she could be in a ditch or dead, there may not have been anyone around to help her...but there was! And when I thought it was my starter it wasn't...there is a silver lining to the clouds that seem to be hovering over our automobiles.

Today I have felt the challenge, my thought process, my faith, my ability to quit analyzing and to believe that everything will work out...even though life is busy and inconvenient, and uncomfortable. What do we do with those scriptures like I Peter 4:12-13: Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.(The Message) . James 1:2-4: Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. (The Message). Passages like these press us, they force us to ask the hard questions, like, "Am I really committed to God or am I just playing?" They ask us to look deep within our hearts to make sure that we love God, even when our roses have thorns! I know that in time all things will work out, but getting there is uncomfortable and irritating, can I praise God when I'm mad at life?

I think so...I just have to do it by faith:)

Today is a typical Saturday morning for me, wake up before the crack of dawn, play online, watch movies and my wife sleeping, and then around 8:30 get up to take meds, make coffee and have breakfast...I know...I need to get a real life:)

As I was checking my blog I noticed the number of blogs I have written over the past few years and realized how little I have written in the last 3 years and how much I have missed writing. For me writing is theraputic, it allows me to say what I'm thinking, erase it and start over, or leave it and live with it. It gives my permission to be creative and step outside of my own box...and I choose how safe I want to be or how fearless. In blogging one is able to find themselves, reveal themselves, and share themselves...you just need to determine what you want to be and how you want to be seen.

During the past few years that I haven't been blogging I feel like I've lost some of me, that the creative side of me has diminished. I'm determined to change that and to rediscover me...the inner me!

Recently I wrote a book, as I've well advertised and anyone reading this should get a copy of:) One of the things I mention is that many people have simply quit dreaming, our lives get so busy and we become so consumed in living them that we don't dream about the future, or even the present for that matter. Langston Hughes said, "A man without a dream is a like a bird with a broken wing, He cannot fly."

Dreams are what men are made of. You can't create the moment your life changes, but you can dream about it and move toward it. You can walk out the necessary steps to bring into that time when everything changes. So why not start dreaming again, see stuff on the inside and let it work its way outside?

I'm dreaming of a new season...of new life and fresh creativity. I'm dreaming of better health and of a future filled with life and surprises...good stuff...even some not so good stuff...it comes with life you know. What I also know is that even with not so good stuff, God is always thinking of us, and His thoughts toward us are good and hopeful and of a great future!

What are you dreaming about?

During the Fall of 2010 I began to seek the Lord for direction for the upcoming New Year. This is something I do every year, nothing new, just a process I've come to appreciate. As I listened for the voice of the Lord I heard the Holy Spirit speak two words into my spirit: "Live Largely!"

That sounded strange as I considered the position our world is now in, financial crisis, wars and catastrophic events taking place...how could I tell people who can't afford to fill their gas tanks to live largely? It wasn't so much that God was asking me to preach a message of financial prosperity, though I firmly believe that God will bless and prosper our giving...it was that God was asking me to tell people to stretch from the inside out! Beginning the first Sunday of January I began to teach through the 54th chapter of Isaiah, week after week, line after line, I challenged my congregation to get out of the box, and to live largely.

It then became my turn, I was challenged to turn this series of messages into a book. So I sat down and began to write, it seemed that my laptop was attached to my lap, and my fingers were on fire.

The fruit of this simple word from the Lord is a new book that will soon be released. I believe that you and I can live largely, that we can experience abundant life...today! It's not a life without struggle, nor does it ensure finances beyond your wildest dreams. What living largely does promise is the release of who and what God has always intended for you to be...it challenges you to dream big, to see God in a huge way and to see your life expanded!

I hope you'll check it out!

Moments, Memories, and Momentum

The three M's that create both wonder and worry in my life. As the father of two absolutely fantastic daughters, one of which now lives 16 hours from me, I love the moments I have with my girls. Our oldest daughter was an only child until she was almost 8 years old, we've done a lot of things, been a lot of places, and seen a lot of things together. The arrival of a little sister changed everything, I also have to admit that during the early years of our second daughter I was so busy doing the work of the Lord...sitting at the office, or off preaching some where, that I missed some of the baby's early stuff and too many of the eldest important moments. Over the years I've not only regretted it, but apologized for it and determined not to do it again.

Our lives changed last year when we shipped our oldest daughter off to Florida to attend school. Not only was it the hardest thing we've ever done, it changed the dynamics of my relationship with my little one. I now take her to school, pick her up, and spend a few hours after school with her as we await her mothers arrival home from work. It's been an exciting journey, words can't explain the feeling I get when I see her coming around the corner, when she puts her hand in mine as we walk, and as she begins to tell me about her day.

Last Spring I had the opportunity for the two of us to go to Williamsburg, VA to check out the historical sites and to visit Busch Gardens. It was absolutely amazing!

Life is about special moments that create memories that become the momentum for progressing. These times in our lives, whether they be with a child, a spouse, a friend, or even in our spiritual walk, become catalyst, the propel us into new adventures and often, new seasons of our lives.

I miss my older daughter Kaitlin, I check her Face Book daily, usually just to see her face, look forward to her calls or a text, love it when she calls me Daddy...it's Dad normally, and especially when she's aggravated at me. But I remember bringing her home, picking her up from her first day of kindergarten, her first flight, her high school graduation, and now am making new memories with her...we go to Starbucks, drink coffee together, laugh and realize how much alike we are, she doesn't hold my hand...but she does hold my heart!

Last year I had a reality check, I had a heart attack and almost died...life means quite a bit more to me today and I am determined to live largely, to not miss the moments, to make memories, and to ride the wave of momentum as we venture into new places in life!

The Older I Get...The More I Wonder???

Recently I was given the senior's discount at Bob Evan's. I have to admit that I found it rather offensive, after all, I'm only 47 and the discount is for those who are 55 and older. I am a middle aged man doing my best to remain young, to act my age, and to look relevant. I wear jeans and my shirts untucked, I wear Ed Hardy tennis shoes, I'm open to all sorts of music and events, I'm not old and I refuse to think that way!

But I've noticed that the older I get the more I wonder about things. Each generation has it's own sounds and views, they create their own look and culture. I have no problem with that, in fact, I want to embrace it, realizing there will be places I won't fit, things I won't understand, and things I won't agree with...I have no issue with that either!

As a pastor I want to lead my people into new pastures, to feed them fresh food, to be cutting edge, walking and living in present truth, to be a part of what God is saying and doing right now. And this is where I wonder most, because as much as I love and embrace new music, new methods, new mannerisms, I also believe that the Gospel is simple, that Jesus is source of life, that the Word of God has the answers to all of life's questions, that the Holy Spirit able to direct and empower us, and that the church remains relevant in an ever changing society.

What is it that makes life so complicated? Why is it that people no longer accept the simple truth that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life? How do we reach this generation with the simple truth?

Just thinking out loud!

Neil

This Is It!

I was reading II Chronicles 2 this week and got inspired, the first verse says that Solomon was determined to build a house for the Lord, he asked God to allow him to do what his father David desired to do but couldn't. When God released him to move forward Solomon became determined to proceed.

It reminded me of those times in our lives when we have to make up our minds that this is it, I've moving forward regardless of what anyone else says or thinks. There has to be an inner tenacity that says, this is it, I've heard from God, I know what is in my spirit, and nothing is going to stop me!

Have you had a this is it moment?

It's Time To Turn Around

2010 has been an interesting year in my life to say the least. I started the year off by having a heart attack while preaching New Years day, was rushed to the hospital and had a stent put in only to find out that I would also need open heart surgery. To make matters worse we had no medical insurance so the hospital I was at would not allow me to come back for the surgery, instead they sent me home to rest and build up my heart and find someone to do my surgery. The Lord provided and on February 9th I had triple bypass at Mercy Hospital in Fairfield, OH. During this time I have found myself hiding, not depressed or feeling sorry for myself, just hiding, not allowing creativity to flow through me, I've quit writing, and simply hidden myself from things I have always valued. For me it's time to turn around, to get back on track and to follow the flow of direction that is in my heart. It's amazing how easily we get distracted, kind of like looking off to the side while driving, one minute the car is going straight down the road and the next your in the middle of the road with cars honking at you...you're still on the road, just not where you're supposed to be. Sometimes you have to turn around and get back on track...that's what I'm trying to do today, get back on track!